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Today is Better

It seems the world is trying to make up for the general fucked-upedness of yesterday.  I went shopping this morning in preparation for the annual Seattle Steamrats Boxing Day Potluck and Round Robin Gift Exchange. What should i see just as i walk in, but a lovely rose and gold decorated tea cup with a mismatched but coordinating saucer, along with a lovely small floral dinner plate! i also found a set of mismatched but coordinating flatware, and a HUGE swath of black and white striped fabric! just what i had been looking for for ages! (guess who is getting a stripy bustle skirt for Christmas? me!) I stopped at the store and they had fresh broccoli-cheese soup, along with Hawaiian rolls on sale! And when I checked the mail I had gotten a package I had been waiting for and my debit card had come three days early!


I think I'll go thrift shopping, sew myself some new pretty things to wear, perhaps make a mini-batch of salted bacon maple honey caramels (made them with Himself the other night as a dry run for the boxing day event, and sent them home with him... oh my god yummy!) mayhap make a hat or two, generally keep myself busy. Today sucked, what with Himself going home, and the divorce thing... *sigh* I need to be nice to myself for a few days to prevent a depression from setting in.

Angry Mumbling

Wow... the X just responded to the divorce papers... and reminded me what an asshole he is in the possess.  So glad i left. I tried to be nice. I tried to set things up where we could part ways and have everything be tidy and neat and easy. he obviously doesn't want that. That's ok then. He wants it messy, I'll give him messy.  I wasn't going to push the abuse thing, but if he wants to be an ass, i will.  I will add abuse proceedings to the divorce case. If he wants to go to court, I'll go to court, but i will be taking him down in the process.   


I feel strangely free. I’ve dropped a class, written a letter to the dean of my program, and otherwise engaged in “bad” social behavior, being the squeaky wheel and refusing to do something that does not mesh with my feelings about who I am and how I should behave. 

So in short, I have said a very proper and professional “fuck you” to a teacher that refused to enable her students, and have decided to go for the greener pastures of next quarter and different instructor.  It feels good and reassuring to know that I will not destroy my future by standing up and doing what I feel is right, despite my initial trepidation.  I have lost all of the stress that was affecting my other classes negatively.

The dean even sent a copy (with my name removed) of the letter to my business teacher and my computer teacher (the one I complained about) and my business teacher guessed it was me.  He then congratulated me on the professionalism of the letter, and added that it was very well written.  It feels good and validating. 

International Lolita Day Fail!

I didnt realise that it was International Lolita Day till it wasnt anymore! *sadface*  But but but! i had everything i needed to dress up! *whines a little* OK THEN... I SHALL DO IT TOMMORO!!!  steam lolita away!!!!
Who has most influenced you the most creatively, and how?

Artists and writers, mostly.  Mucha (art nouvou changed the way i drew forever) , Aimee Mageer (used to follow her art school animation projects and marvel at her character drawing skills) , the old 1960's "how to draw" books (mostly things like "cartoon animation"  they taught me about getting a good grasp on three dimensional drawing), so many individual peices by different artists whos names are forever now lost to me (thanks to Elfwood and Deviant Art), Lovecraft (for inspiring me to write again with how utterly amazing the dream cycle was), Anne Rice (for her lush descriptions) , Anne McAfree (for being my fantasy/scifi gateway drug).

ahh how sweet it is

As i look at my Na.No.Wri.Mo. victory treat, i cant help but grin not only because i have earned it, but because i have unintentionally crafted a snack that is a "fuck you" to the life i left behind.  the meal? bread and cheese with mango chutney and a bottle of martinellis sparkling cider.  class all the way darling. *wink*
why is it a fuck you? let me explain.  the meal itself is bread and cheese with fruit. a meal i often suggested but always got told was too expensive. erm... nope it wasn't.  the cheese? Dubliner... my X's fave which he never shared. to boot it was wrapped in a pink wrapper for Susan G Colman breast cancer, and part of the sale went to them.  he hated them because he thought it wasn't worth it and took away form men's cancer awareness.  The chutney? mango.  which the other woman was allergic to.  the cider? non alcoholic. and while i have no objection to drinking these days, it seems deliciously perverse to celebrate without it. and the thing i am celebrating? an accomplishment he never had in all his "writerly" endeavors.  a finished fucking novel. To quote Kevin Smith: "Feels good, Sir" *grin*

I won! I won!!!!!!

50000 baby!!!! How do ya like me now!?  *victory touchdown dance*  now for a months R&R before i tackle editing this beast... *snicker* then on to trying to publish it! wish me luck!



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February 2011


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